He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
