Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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