And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So squirting runs in the family.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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