ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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