Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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