You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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