She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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