He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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