If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
