new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
