Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
