is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize