Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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