i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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