I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
