if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
