What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
