She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
