He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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