My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My pussy is not your playground.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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