Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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