She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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