whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
