video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
