honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
