she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
