so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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