Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
