You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
