you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
