talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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