Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
