My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
