I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Boobs are out for the taking
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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