is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i've created a new STD.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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