When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
