At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
