And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
