I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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