hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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