You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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