We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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