Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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