Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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