ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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