someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
