Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
