I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
