This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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