Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
