we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
