I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
